Technology: Easier to Connect or Easier to Ghost?
I straddle the border between Millennial and Generation-Z but in many ways I don’t identify with either generation. Like many, my adolescent and young adult years have been filled with a regretful number of hours spent scrolling through social media. If I’m being honest, I firmly believe we are rapidly approaching a need for Social Media Anonymous meetings as our addiction to screens continues to augment. While I’m guilty of using my phone as an appendage, I strongly differ from my generation in how I actually use said device when communicating with others. Perhaps I’ve been spoiled by the instant gratification that technology offers me but I grow continuously more frustrated with the ghosting culture that consumes my generation.
Ever the extrovert, I’m the planner for my group. Even though we are just starting to emerge from life after a pandemic, it appears that everyone in my circle has the social calendar of Kate Middleton. Getting a group of three or more people together requires at least 5 weeks of advance notice. As someone who lives alone, I’m desperate for in-person interaction which is why I am continuously frustrated by members of my generation who drop off the face of the earth when you reach out to them. My own friends will commit to an activity but as the event grows nearer, they suddenly go radio silent. Are they no longer interested? Did they get a better offer? I wouldn’t know because instead of having the decency to respond, they say nothing. I know they see my messages, I’m just asking for a simple decline of my invitation that you originally accepted. It is so easy to commit to something over text message yet impossible to actually follow through on these committments. I’ll invite friends over and they’ll accept in a heartbeat but not only are they no shows on the day of, they don’t even let me know they won’t be coming over. I keep wondering, do they not want to be around me? Or has technology just made it too easy for us to ghost our own friends? In the world of social media, there is nowhere to hide. I can see that not only did you blow me off but you’ve also decided to spend the day with someone else.
With friends who are so busy, I’ve turned to dating apps to try and find companionship. However, as many may already know dating apps breed ghosters. I’ve lost count of the number of conversations I’ve had that have ended in a complete ignorance of my last message. You’ve mentioned that you like reading on your profile, I’ve asked you about that last book you’ve read and that was the final straw to end our conversation. Except, you haven’t explicitly told me that, I’ve just assumed because I stopped hearing from you. Did you find someone hotter? Have I bored you? I’d appreciate honesty over a complete disrespect for my time.
As someone who enjoys a conversation over the phone over a text message, I not only worry I’m in the minority but I fear that the strength of relationships will seriously diminish with my generation. Technology has made it easier to stay in touch, perhaps so easy that we take it for granted. I struggle to understand how members of my generation are ever going to be able to form new connections or build relationships with so many escape routes from a stale conversation. The culture that ghosting has enabled is not only frustrating but also hurtful and the only way to put an end to it is to hold people accountable. Don’t be so easy to let someone off the hook who had plenty of opportunities to let you know they weren’t available but decided it was easier to say nothing. Let people know that you’ve been hurt by their explicit disrespect. The ghosting stops here!
